It's Raining Jibbs
by jibbsloversunited
Summary: Jibbsfest in the rain.
1. Welcome

Welcome to another round of Jibbsfest! And welcome to our new authors. The prompts this time were:

- Rain

- Any character in a skirt (and I did mean _any_ character)

- A cat

- Gibbs knocking on a door

If anyone is interested in participating a future round, feel free to introduce yourself on the forum (Forums – TV – NCIS – Jenny&Gibbs – Jibbsfest) or PM me (MissJayne).


	2. Caught JibbsGal1

**Title: **Caught

**Author: **JibbsGal1

**Rating: **T

_A/N: This takes place _right_ after the end of "Bait."_

Jenny and Gibbs looked at the reunited family one more time and then closed the door.

"Well done, Director." Gibbs actually was impressed.

She managed a smile, taken aback a bit by her lead agent actually having something nice to say. "I am glad you're safe, Jethro. Try not to get yourself pulled into another bomb threat situation."

"I'll do my best," he smirked. He watched her as she left for the night, unsure of the vibe he was getting from her. He took one last look towards the reunited family, smiled to himself and then headed for the elevator.

Gibbs pushed the button for Autopsy, interested in speaking with Ducky. When he went through the doors, he saw Jimmy and glared at him.

"Uh, I think I need to go do something. I'll be back, Dr. Mallard."

"Very well, Mr. Palmer. Jethro, is there something I can do for you?"

Gibbs waited until Jimmy had left before turning back to his friend. "Did something happen with the director today? She seemed a bit... I can't even place it."

Ducky smiled at Gibbs. "Well, she was incredibly upset when you were taken hostage."

Gibbs furrowed his brow, confused. "Upset how?"

"She was wearing her sidearm. I called her on it and explained she would only be a hindrance if she were to go down there."

His eyes went wide, a bit of anger crept in his voice. "She was going to play agent? Why? When did she stop trusting me? Or DiNozzo?"

Ducky looked at his friend, thinking it should have been obvious and wondering if he was going to have to spell it out for him. He realized he would. "Jethro, I hadn't seen her that upset since Paris."

Gibbs thought he might be understanding what Ducky meant but it seemed so impossible, he needed clarification. "Upset or worried?"

"Worried."

"So she was going to head down there to rescue me?" He was incredulous.

"She said you'd been partners a long time. She couldn't sit by and do nothing."

Gibbs was finally understanding what Ducky was trying to say. A big smile broke out across his face. "Really? Well, I'll be damned." He started to leave when Ducky's voice stopped him.

"You _are_ going to be a gentleman about this, right?"

Gibbs laughed. "But I'm no gentleman, Ducky."

The M.E. watched him leave. "That's what I was afraid of."

Gibbs drove through the rain to get to Jenny's townhouse. He watched what looked like a very upset cat run under his car for protection. "I know how you feel." He took his jacket and lifted it a bit over his head as he ran up the steps to Jen's door. He knocked and waited.

Finally she came to the door, still dressed in her work clothes - minus the jacket. He loved the sleeves on her frilly blouse, the skirt and the killer boots.

"Special Agent Gibbs, is there something you wanted or were you simply interested in looking me up and down?"

"Those aren't exactly mutually exclusive."

She rolled her eyes and opened the door, allowing him entry. "You look like a drowned rat."

"If you had answered your door a bit faster…"

"I was enjoying my bourbon by the fire, so sue me. And I wasn't expecting anyone."

He watched her head to the study and followed. "Good point."

She went to pour him a glass of bourbon and retrieve her own. "Why don't you put your jacket over the chair by the fire. And you can remove your shoes, if you'd like. Or is this a quick visit?"

He reached for the glass and immediately downed half of it. He saw her raise an eyebrow.

"Needing liquid courage for something, Jethro?"

He hated how she could read him so easily. He sat down in the chair opposite her and watched as she unzipped her boots, freeing her feet from their confinement.

She watched his eyes as she slowly removed her knee socks. _What is going with him? He's been staring at me._ "You still haven't told me why you're here."

He watched as she tucked her beautiful legs beneath her, moving his eyes up her body til they rested on her face. _Busted. She caught me staring._ "I heard that you were worried about me today," he said, almost gloating.

She rolled her eyes. _Great. Thanks for that, Ducky._ "Don't read too much into it, Jethro. It was a worrisome situation."

He drank the last of his bourbon and moved quickly to her chair, kneeling in front of it. "So it had nothing to do with being worried enough that you wanted to rescue me?"

His breath was hot on her face, the smell of sawdust and bourbon overwhelming her, never mind the memories his very presence, being in such close proximity, made flood all over her. "What do you want from me?" she managed.

He ran one hand up her leg, under her skirt and the other one he used to cup her face, his icy blue eyes boring into her emerald ones. "What do you think?"

He could tell she was running it all through her head, thinking too much. Her breathing had increased, which made him think she was considering it but she was too slow to act so he took matters into his own hands. He kissed her. She resisted at first but he moved his other hand up to her face to hold onto her for a few more seconds. And then he knew he had her.

Her mouth opened for him and her hands wrapped around him, finding their way into his hair. She removed her legs from under her body and instead moved them to either side of him, bringing him closer to her. Feeling her in his arms, he realized how much he'd missed moments like this, which made him moan.

He pulled away from her to Jenny's surprise. That is until he removed his shirts and then her own, which he pulled over her head.

She saw him eyeing her black lacy bra, drinking her in. He pulled her closer, running his hands over her body while kissing her neck.

"Are we really doing this?" she asked, moaning as he hit the spot on her neck that he remembered drove her crazy.

He ran his hands along her legs, under her skirt and grabbed her ass so he could lift her. She quickly grabbed on to him for dear life, wrapping her legs around him as he lifted her to the desk. "I sure hope so because the plan is to undo my pants right now and take you right here; so if you're having regrets, you'd better say so quickly."

"My only regret is that it's taken us this long to get here."

He ran a hand through her short hair and whispered huskily into her ear, "But at least we're finally here."


	3. Softball Scandals jollymonkee5613

**Title: **Softball Scandals

**Author: **jollymonkee5613

**Rating: **K+

"OK, if we're gonna win then we're gonna have to take out Principal Sheppard." Tony announced grimly. He and the rest of his team were in a huddle. It was just before the annual Student vs. Teachers Softball game and they'd decided that the only way for them to win was to take out the biggest threat. They'd established that threat as being Jenny, their teacher's girlfriend and boss. "You with me?"

"That depends; do you think we want to die?" McGee cut in with a roll of his eyes.

"Teacher's pet." The Italian Eighth grader accused.

"Try smart." Tony rolled his eyes as the Goth spoke. Abby just had to get her two cents in didn't she?

"OK then, what do you suggest?" Tony asked with an eye roll of his own.

"How about we just play the game like normal human beings? Oh, wait that's because Tony isn't normal therefore we can't."

"Shut up and get your butt out on the mound and start warming up, Kate." Tony ordered. The former stuck her tongue out at the latter before doing as he instructed. "OK, I'm catching. Jimmy, you've got Center field. McGee you've got left field. Abby you've got second. Ziva you've got first. Michelle, you've got right field. Thanks for volunteering to play by the way. Umm…Nikki you can have short stop. Cynthia, can you take third? Good."

"If you're done bossing us around now Tony, let us play bat."

"Ziva, firstly; I know how to play and you don't. Secondly; it's let us play ball not bat." The catcher replied with a mild glare. A glare like his was nothing like his teachers' who were kind of not happy about having to wait. At least that's what Tony's thoughts of their impressions as fiery ice were. _Fiery ice…is that even possible, _Tony wondered_. _Deciding that he didn't really care as long as he got to live, he scrambled to get into the catchers gear.

After five minutes of warm ups, Ducky scrambled up to bat first for his team. Tony grinned and held up five fingers; Kate's cue to throw a rise ball. She shook it off and opted for a screwball instead; strike one. A little miffed that she'd ignored him, he tried again but yet again she shook him off and threw a fast ball this time. Ducky was a little late and fouled it off. Tony gain called the rise ball and finally Kate consented to it. Much to the surprise and displeasure of the children, Ducky hit a homerun over the fence.

If Abby had to guess, she'd say Tony was going to have third degree burns from the scorching glare Kate was focusing on him.

Next up was Fornell and much to his own team's amusement, he only hit a single. Third in the line up was assistant vice Principal Vance. No one really liked him…his own team included. Kate threw a rise ball and he missed then threw a fastball and he made contact. Due to the fact that your swing tends to speed up each time, the clever catcher conspired with Kate and had her throw a changeup. "Can you say, Oooouuut?" Tony grinned and yelled out to Kate. Abby did a funky type of victory dance but everyone else just settled for yelling their congratulations.

"One to go, two down!" The resident Israeli transfer student yelled out.

McGee shot her a quizzical look. "One down, two to go." He automatically corrected.

"Thank you McSpellcheck." Tony yelled out dryly.

"That had nothing to do with typing, Tony!" Tim shot back.

Tony responded with the highly classical and remarkable comeback of "Shut up!"

Luckily, Mike Franks (the gym teacher) struck out when he was up at bat. The students found his loud and very audible curses to be rather amusing.

After Mike Franks was Jenny. Kate was not stupid enough to take the signal Tony was giving her and purposely hit their principal. That in itself was a double death wish. One ticket to the hospital's resident morgue from her and one from Gibbs. If she got two, she was sharing one with Tony. Opting for walking her instead, Kate threw four pitches way outside and Tony caught them, preventing Fornell from stealing second and effectively walking their teacher.

By the time that particular inning was over, the team was down…by a lot…seven nothing was the exact score too. As if to add insult to injury, the rain started.

The rain continued as multiple innings were played and the game progressed. Finally it came down to the bottom of the seventh, two outs, the students were down by one and McGee was up at bat. Tony was on second and Kate was on first.

The pitcher was Miss Shepard and the catcher was Mr. Gibbs, the perfect dynamic duo. Their principal wore a wicked grin as she let loose a fastball. Surprisingly enough, McGee made contact and it went to Fornell at Shortstop who then overthrew it to Ducky, causing Tony to round third and head for home plate.

The ball beat Tony there when he was only a foot away and he knew it. Instead of turning back, he slid to avoid the tag and predictably his foot nailed Mr. Gibbs in his 'family jewels' so to speak Even more predictably enough, the school teacher dropped the ball and Tony was safe. They did not need to continue playing and so the team earned a victory over their teachers. Tony, however, earned a bonus; one of those two one way tickets to the morgue that Kate had been thinking about earlier. Instead of going to shake hands, he packed his gear up before Gibbs could recover and scrambled for his mother's car. It was bad enough they had school tomorrow, no need to hang around the field any longer.

Jenny watched him go before heading over to Jethro. "You Ok there tiger?" She teased offering a hand. "That depends, you gonna help me with the ice at home?" It was distinctly suggestive, that remark. At least that's what Jenny took it to be.

"If you behave and shake hands nicely like a good boy." Her emeralds flashed as she pressed a swift kiss to his cheek before moving to get into the line of their already assembled teammates.

"I'll be good." He promised before moving to get into line behind her. The position he was in made it possible for him to watch her behind… she was going to kill him later.

_*********The Next Morning***********_

"I can't believe they managed to beat us." Gibbs grumbled as he dressed.

"Not my fault you don't wear proper athletic equipment." Jenny shot back irritably. She hadn't gotten her morning coffee just yet.

"How was I supposed to know he was gonna do that?" Gibbs demanded adding the finishing touches.

"It's DiNozzo."

"And?"

"DiNozzo is DiNozzo."

Gibbs grumbled something more but it was an unintelligible response and Jenny let it go, opting instead to kiss him softly. "I think you'll thank him later because Lord knows you're going to enjoy revenge." She grinned and slipped her arms around his neck. The teacher slipped his arms around her waist in response.

"I love you." He announced.

"Love you too but for future reference… you look like an idiot." Jenny announced and smiled sweetly up at him.

"And what do you think I think you look like?" Gibbs shot back raising his eyebrows.

"If you're smart then you'll say beautiful." The redhead eyed him critically. A promise glinted in her eyes if he was dumb enough to say otherwise.

"Right, well let me help you with this." He stated, avoiding the question completely and pressing something so it stuck on her upper lip.

"Time for school." She announced.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes now get your lazy butt out of the house." Gibbs fearing his redhead's fury if they were late hurried to do as she had instructed. He did, however, mumble something about it being his house.

Jenny responded with one of his trademark headslaps.

_******** Later in the Morning At NCIS. (Naughty Child Institutional School)********_

"So, think he's gonna kill you?"

"I don't even want to think about the possibilities, Kate." Tony shot back with a muffled groan. There were so many ways he could potentially die in the space of the next few minutes.

"At least you get to see the results of the bet before you die." Abby piped up in her thoroughly enthusiastic manner.

"Gee, I feel a million times better."

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation and as they took in the sight of Gibbs, the one who'd knocked, and his companion they busted out into giggles.

Mr. Gibbs was decked out in a skirt and a blouse, an odd hat on his head, and a purse with a cat inside clutched tightly in his hand. Well, he did look like the crazy cat lady they had told him he'd have to dress as if the teachers' team lost the bet. All eyes shifted to the person he was holding hands with in this instance. His umm… due to her current appearance it was slightly uncomfortable to think of her as Gibbs's girlfriend, so rather Jenny, was looking weird. True her outfit in a suit, fake mustache, reading glasses and tie was not nearly as funky as Gibbs's but it was still strange.

Tony continued to laugh uncontrollably and the adults shared a smirk, slowly edging into the room.

"S'Not fair, I can't run when I'm laughing so hard." Tony managed to choke out between laughs.

Jenny grinned at Gibbs. They'd plotted their revenge last night... amongst _other things_.

Quietly they slid into the room and locked the door.

"Oh, we aren't going to chase you." Mr. Shepard assured them, her smile growing wider as she removed her mustache.

"Nope." Miss Gibbs added with a wry grin.

Nope indeed. They started to of course kiss in front of the class. Tony turned a pale white.

"EW!" He announced as they started to make out. "REALLY GROSS! GET A ROOM!" He tried again. Stubbornly, they did not break apart and he turned green. Normally he'd wolf-whistle or something but at this point and time his breakfast was threatening to make an appearance. It kinda happens that way when your teacher is dressed as the crazy cat lady and your principal is dressed like a man.

"I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!" Tony's voice echoed in the classroom but that did it. The two faculty members pulled apart and sent him identical glares.

Suddenly he realized too late he was better off when they were making out…..

*********_Author's Note******_

_Wow, that was longer than expected but I hope you liked it._

_-Courtney_

_P.S. The injury Gibbs suffered is possible to inflict. I've done so to a catcher at a softball game and she had to be taken off the field (I was safe also because she dropped the tag)….that is why you do not block the plate by straddling._


	4. Serves Yourself Right tayababy

**Title: **Serves Yourself Right

**Author: **tayababy

**Rating: **K+

"Remind me again exactly why we're doing this?" Gibbs asked as he stepped onto the porch of Tony and Ziva's house, Jenny following behind him with the twins. The four-and-a-half year olds, who had just awoken from a mid-morning nap, were dragging their feet up the wooden stairs. He knocked sharply on the door before turning to his wife who was scolding their children.

"Jasper, I swear, if you don't hurry your little butt up here, you won't get to play with AJ at all today!" Jenny threatened her daughter, who was in love with the DiNozzo offspring, and had been since he was born.

"But Mommy, I love AJ, and he loves me!" she tried to fight, but ran up the stairs anyway at the promise of a play date with her boyfriend.

Jenny chuckled and shook her head. "Exhibit A," she said to her husband, motioning towards their daughter. "And, Abby threatened us with death if we weren't here for Easter."

Gibbs sighed. "I can't believe she tried to pull rank on us. We've been retired for six months, Jen…"

"She didn't pull rank, she pulled the guilt card. And she did it well," on that note, she rang to doorbell, grabbing Jasper's arm before her daughter could run around the porch.

Tony appeared at the door, 18-month old AJ in one arm, and smiled widely. "Welcome to Casa DiNozzo, everyone is in the living room."

Gibbs stood there in shock as the twins barrelled inside, forcing Tony to put his son down to join them, and stared at the man who succeeded him in the office. "DiNozzo, do I want to know why you are wearing a skirt?"

"He lost a bet," Ziva appeared at his side out of nowhere. "Come in, I'll tell you all about it."

Jenny smiled and followed the younger woman inside, leaving the men standing in the doorway. "Why do I get the feeling he deserved it this time?"

Ziva shrugged. "He bet me my recent illness was just a late-season 'flu. I bet him I was pregnant. I won," she answered simply, announcing her news nonchalantly.

"You're pregnant?" Jenny asked. "That's wonderful! How far along are you?" she grabbed the younger woman and steered her into the living room to where Abby and Palmer's girlfriend Diana were sitting.

Gibbs stepped into the house, closing the door behind him. He glanced out a window and inwardly groaned at the menacing black clouds threatening a storm. "Still doesn't explain why you're in a skirt, DiNozzo."

Tony shrugged. "We had to switch clothes; trust me, you don't want to see what I'm wearing underneath. It's bad enough I have to wear one of her skirts, but that," he shuddered.

"Serves yourself right," he said, walking towards the kitchen. "You should know better than to bet against your wife. A good husband will always follow his wife's lead."

DiNozzo snorted. "Which ex-wife told you that?"

Gibbs glared at the younger man from the fridge. "Diane."

"Figures."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he sneered at the younger man, as Tim and Palmer entered the kitchen. The Autopsy Gremlin sat down at the kitchen table while McGee helped himself to a beer from the fridge.

DiNozzo shrugged and sat down, shifting uncomfortably in the skirt his wife made him wear. "I don't know. When have you ever listened to any one of your wives before?"

"Think very carefully before you answer that, Jethro," Jenny warned, walking into the kitchen silently. "If you value your life, and your place in my bed, I would seriously reconsider your current conversation."

Gibbs smiled into the beer he was nursing, shooting his wife a heated stare. Jenny smiled and shrugged it off, grabbing a bottle of wine and some glasses for the ladies.

"Why are we even here, anyway?" Palmer asked, abruptly changing the subject in a way only he could.

"Wife tells you to move, you move," Gibbs shrugged. "Trust me, it's easier for all involved if you just listen to her and don't question it."

"Jenny has you well trained, Boss?" Tony commented cheekily.

"Who's the one wearing his wife's skirt, DiNozzo?"

"So, spill," Abby pounced on Ziva the moment they sat down on her extremely comfortable couch. "How far along are you?"

Ziva smiled as she sat down next to Jenny on the opposite couch. "Are you sure you want to hear about good news?" she asked, referring to Jen's breast cancer.

"Ziva, I'm good for now. Your happiness gives me something else to live for," she replied. "My head is so damn itchy, though."

"You can't even tell!" Abby all but screamed, and Diana looked slightly confused. "It's a wig," Abby whispered loudly, and Jenny giggled.

"Oh!" the realisation dawned on the younger woman, who was new to the family. "I totally can't even tell."

Jenny smiled her thanks. "Can we talk about something else? Today is a good day, and I want to enjoy it."

Abby bounced in her seat. "Yeah, tell me about the baby! Are you excited?"

"Abby, I am approximately eight weeks pregnant; I am yet to even have a scan."

"So how did you find out?" Diana asked.

"You peed on a stick!" Abby did scream this time. "Have you even had a blood test yet to confirm? You know those things can give false positives!"

"Can ten sticks give false positives, Abby?"

"Oh."

Jenny chuckled as she stood up from the couch. "Apparently I'm allowed a glass of wine a week. Anyone else want some?"

At the nods, Jenny walked into the kitchen, and Abby moved to claim her now-empty seat.

"Want me to run your blood?"

Ziva sighed. "Abby, I have an appointment with my obstetrician tomorrow at ten, I do not think your help will be needed," she patted the Goth's hand, trying to placate her. "However, I can have a picture printed for you."

The smile on her face ensured Ziva she had made the right decision, and she was promptly hugged in thanks.

"What did I miss?" Jenny asked, slinking back into the living room with a bottle of merlot, three glasses and a bottle of soda. "Guava ok?" she asked Ziva, who nodded.

"Abby is freaking out that I left her out of my pregnancy, even though I only found out yesterday," Ziva answered succinctly. "But, enough about me. How are the twins going?"

Jenny smiled at the mention of her children. "Well, Jasper is convinced Jeremy and AJ are out to get her, and wants a dog to protect her. Only problem is, she wants a poodle."

"They are hypoallergenic, don't shed hair, and are very smart dogs," Diana smiled over the rim of her wine glass. "It's probably one of the best breeds of dog to go for."

"You're not helping my case, Diana," Jen chuckled, "I'm trying to talk my daughter out of getting a dog, not give her even more reasons to beg for one."

"Why do you not get her a cat?" Ziva asked. "If you do not like dogs, cats are the next logical option."

"I hate cats, and Jethro is allergic to them."

"All the more reason to get a poodle," Diana reiterated.

"Still not helping my case, Diana."

The women sat in silence, all taking sips from their drinks, when the black clouds outside broke, sending rain pouring down and lightning rippling across the sky. Three sets of feet began thundering their own way through the ground floor of the house, and all of a sudden AJ, Jasper and Jeremy ran in searching for their mothers.

"Mommy, Mommy!" AJ jumped on her.

"See, if I had a puppy, she would be able to protect me," Jasper commented from Jenny's arms.

Jenny sighed and glared at Diana, who just chuckled in return.

Lightning flashed through the sky again, shortly followed by another loud clap of thunder, which made all three children scream hysterically. Tony ran into the room, followed closely by Jethro, Tim and Jimmy Palmer.

"What happened? Is AJ okay?" Tony asked quickly, immediately bending down in front of his wife and son.

"Tony, relax, he was just scared by the thunder, and his scream set off the twins."

"Daddy!" Jasper jumped into his arms. "You can protect me from the storm, just like my puppy would!"

Jethro stared at Jen, his eyes asking her why their daughter still had her heart set on a puppy.

"She's not going to give up anytime soon, Jethro," Jen shrugged, running her hand up and down Jeremy's back soothingly. "She's very determined and stubborn."

"She got that from you," he deadpanned.

"Serves yourself right for taking her to the pet store."

Gibbs sighed and turned his daughter's small face to look directly at his. "Are you sure a puppy will protect you?" he asked.

"Uh huh," she nodded in the way only a four year old could. "Her name will be Pepper, and she'll be black, and cuddly, and sleep on my bed with me!"

"Jasper," Jenny warned.

"On the floor of my room?" she asked hopefully.

Jen sighed. "If she must."

"Does that mean I can get a puppy?" she looked hopefully at her father again.

A silent conversation happened between Gibbs and Jenny, which had both of them nodding, and Diana staring at them in shock.

"What just happened?" she whispered to Tim.

"Jasper's getting the puppy she wants," he replied.

"Uncle Tony," Jeremy broke the silence. "Why are you wearing a skirt?"


	5. The Cat's Meow TheBreakfastGenie

**Title**: The Cat's Meow

**Author**: TheBreakfastGenie

**Rating**: K+ maybe, probably?

"Come on, Ziva," Tony begged. "We need you to do this. Please?" Ziva's response was flat and immediate.

"No." Tony looked around at the rest of the team.

"You've worn skirts before!" Tony complained.

"When?" Ziva shot back, hoping he wouldn't remember exactly.

"How about that black number when we were undercover for the first time?"

"That was a _dress_, Tony. This is a _skirt_." Tony could not comprehend Ziva's logic, but he also couldn't argue with it.

"Ooh, what about when you were at that speed-dating thing?" McGee asked.

"I was undercover, McGee. That was for work."

"So is this!" Tony protested.

"It's _fluffy_. I don't _do_ fluffy." Ziva stubbornly crossed her arms.

"Stop being such a child!" Tony complained.

"I do not see _you_ wearing a skirt, DiNozzo," she replied coldly. An idea struck Tony.

"If you wear the skirt, I _will_ wear one. Scout's honor." Ziva was not impressed.

"You weren't a scout, Tony." He pondered.

"No... but _McGee_ was! And if you wear the skirt just for this, McGee and I will _both_ come to work in skirts." He paused, and quickly amended, "_and_ Ducky!

"No." Ziva said again. Tony sighed, defeated. He turned to McGee and whispered in his young teammate's ear.

"I think we're going to need girl help on this one, Probie." McGee nodded gravely.

"Abby and the Director?" Tony nodded. "Fine, but I get Abby. You're the one who's pals with the Director." Tony groaned internally at the thought of confronting Jenny over this, but he knew it had to be done.

As it turned out, convincing Jenny to make time for such a trivial matter was easier than Tony expected. Jenny had apparently experienced Ziva's stubbornness in such matters before. Actually making time, however, was rather difficult.

"Tony, I'll see what I can manage to free up this afternoon, but I can't make any promises. Whenever I have a free slot someone finds out and places an _urgent_ impromptu call."

"Anytime at all works, I'm sure we can find a way to corner Abby and Ziva when you're available. Thank you for helping." Jenny smiled a little distantly.

"Uh... Director?" Tony asked nervously. Jenny shook her head slightly as if to clear it and returned to the present.

"You thanked me and I was just thinking about how Gibbs doesn't have a rule against those," she explained.

"Only apologies," Tony noted, grinning a little. Bonding over Gibbs-isms seemed to happen a lot when Tony and Jenny were together.

"Speaking of Gibbs... is he aware of this little plan you've concocted?" Jenny's amused smirk indicated she was already fairly certain of the answer.

"Ah, well, he usually tells us he doesn't care _how_, just so long as we get the job done, so McGee and I thought we'd anticipate this time. Ziva has been less than cooperative ever since she found out what the plan entails." Jenny smiled sympathetically.

"I'll do what I can, Tony."

"Any particular reason she's like this?" Jenny sighed.

"None that I know of. She just seems to hate them." Tony left Jenny's office with a slightly renewed sense of hope.

* * *

><p><em>Residence of Jenny Shepard, two days earlier<em>

The rain was still coming down in sheets. It hadn't let up all week and Jenny was beginning to wonder how much longer it would take before she'd have to call in the Navy just to get to NCIS. Jenny didn't make a habit of going to her front door to check out _every_ noise that was barely audible over the rain, but there was something about this high-pitched sound that seemed to radiate an aura of importance. At first, she saw nothing. Then a small, dark-colored shape appeared on her doorstep. After a moment Jenny recognized the poor, drenched animal as a young cat. _Well_, Jenny thought, _I can't let it die out there. I'll take it to the shelter in the morning._

After 20 minutes of the "low" setting on her blow dryer, Jenny had managed to dry the cat's drenched fur. The pattern was tortoiseshell, which, Jenny recalled, meant the cat was female. Carrying the animal with her, Jenny went to the kitchen and located a bowl, with she filled with water. As she was setting the cat down to drink it struck her that she had no food for the creature.

"Ridiculous," she muttered. "The Director of NCIS, buying cat food at 11 PM. Pathetic." Still grumbling, Jenny locked the cat in the bathroom so it couldn't disappear and, donning her raincoat, got into her car. It took longer than she would have liked, but she when she returned she was indeed bearing a bag of cat food.

"You better appreciate this," she told the cat as she ate. "I think I'll call you Cleopatra, Cleo for short." Jenny smiled to herself. Having a cat could be fun.

* * *

><p>Gibbs entered the house with the key he'd had since the late nineties. It had been pretty funny when Jenny had gone to give it to him this time around and hadn't been able to find it. Unsurprised to find the kitchen empty, Gibbs assumed Jenny was locked up in her study. He did not, however, expect to be taking that thought so literally. When he reached the study, it was locked. He frowned. Jenny never locked that door, especially when she knew he was coming.<p>

"Jen!" he called, as he began knocking on the door. "Jenny, open up!"

"My God, Jethro, you don't have to kick it down!" she exclaimed, opening the door just enough for him to get in.

"I wouldn't have to knock if you hadn't locked the door? What the hell is going on?"

"Well I was going to tell you, but since it's so fun watching you overreact, maybe I won't."

"Jen..." he warned.

"Is that genuine concern?" Jenny giggled. "Alright, alright. Don't panic. I just locked the door because Cleo somehow managed to open it, and I don't want her wandering around the entire house yet."

"Cleo?" Gibbs questioned. Jenny smiled mischievously and scooped a suddenly-present brown blur into her arms. "Cleo."

* * *

><p>Gibbs stared at the cat in shock for a moment. Finally, he cleared his throat.<p>

"Jen..._no._"

"It's my house, Jethro, and if I want a cat, I'm going to have a cat."

"Someday it could be my house too, you know." Jenny laughed.

"As if! You'd never leave your precious boat." Another time that might have stung him a bit, the idea that Jenny considered his affection for the boat deeper than his affection for her, but tonight her was too focused on the matter at hand. The cat itself only bothered him a little, the fact that he knew he was going to lose the argument bothered him a _lot_. Gibbs glared, but stopped protesting.

"Pizza sound good?" he asked.

* * *

><p>Throughout dinner, Gibbs and Jenny became more focused on each other than their food. Finally, when the pizza, which had been eaten out of the box to save the time of clearing dishes, was gone, the two of them headed for the stairs. Jenny had also decided that tonight would be a good night for Cleo to familiarize herself with the house a bit, although Gibbs suspected she only thought that because she knew he <em>didn't<em>. When they reached the bedroom, though, a small furry surprise awaited them. Smack in the middle of Jenny's bed was one smug tortoiseshell cat.

"Jenny..." Gibbs complained, clearly put out. Jenny stifled a giggle. Her own annoyance had immediately dissipated when she realized what great foreplay she could get out of siding with the cat.

"Oh, come on Jethro," she said, allowing her smile to show. "We've never needed a bed anyway."

* * *

><p>"Thank you, Dr. Freeman. I'll see you then." As the Director of NCIS hung up her phone, her door opened and Ziva walked in.<p>

"A friend of yours?" Ziva asked, amused. Jenny smiled but shook her head.

"A veterinarian. I now have a cat."

"Ah." Ziva didn't bother to ask for the details. "I believe you wanted to see me, Jenny?" she asked.

"I heard Tony and McGee want you to do the unthinkable." Ziva blushed a little bit.  
>"Jenny..." she began.<p>

"Save it. I know you have a problem with this. But I also know that your case could depend on it."

Ziva sighed. Suddenly, the glint in her eyes turned from disappointed to mischievous.

"Alright, Jenny. I will wear that abominable skirt... if you will tell everyone about you and Gibbs." Jenny looked surprised. "Yes, Jen, I know."

"Who is 'everyone,' exactly?" Jenny asked, regaining some composure.

"Tony, McGee, and Abby. Ducky already knows."

"How..?" Ziva smirked.

"How_ not_ Jenny? I think the only reason Abby hasn't figured it out is that she doesn't know_ you_ and Tony's probably been slapped enough times to just not dare to think about it." Jenny raised an eyebrow.

"And McGee?"

"Clueless." Jenny sighed, weighing her options. The team did need to find out anyway, before they started guessing on their own, and if that was all Ziva wanted...

"Okay. I'll do it." Ziva grinned.

"Oh, and Jen? One more condition. Don't tell the boys it was that easy, okay? Turns out this skirt thing makes really good leverage." Jenny's eyes widened.

"You weren't..." Ziva nodded.

"And that time in Egypt?" Ziva shrugged.

"Well I wasn't heartless enough to_ totally_ con you..." Jenny laughed and shook her head.

"They'll never know."

* * *

><p>Tony DiNozzo was buying a candy bar when his cellphone rang. Seeing the the caller ID said 'Jenny,' he picked up immediately.<p>

"Tony!" she said, happily. "I talked to Ziva. I think we're getting somewhere. You and McGee might want to have Abby talk to her though, just to be sure."

"Right. Thanks, Director."

"No problem, Tony." _Part one is done,_ Jenny thought. The second phone call was much simpler. She pressed speed-dial number seven and waited for him to answer.

"Meet me in the bullpen."

* * *

><p>When Jenny arrived in the squadroom, she saw her perfect plan was already in play. Tony, McGee, Ziva, and Abby had all arrived, along with Ducky who had apparently heard there was going to be quite the show. The elevator let out its trademark <em>ding<em> and Gibbs appeared, right on cue.

"Jethro!" Jenny called happily, running to meet him. When they reached the optimal spot for the team's view, Jenny threw her arms around him and kissed him, hard. All he did was kiss her back. Abby waited until they broke apart to lead the chorus of screams and questions. It was Tony's voice that was audible above the din.

"So are you two, like together now?" he asked.

"DiNozzo," Jenny laughed, "We already _were_." As Tony's jaw dropped followed quickly by McGee's and Abby's, Jenny put an arm around her lover and steered him toward the elevator. When everyone finally quieted down Ziva looked Tony directly in the eye and said "Alright, Tony, I will wear the damn skirt."

* * *

><p>In the elevator, Gibbs turned to Jenny. "It's not that I don't enjoy kissing you in public, but what the hell was that?" For what felt like the millionth time in the last three days, Jenny giggled.<p>

"Oh, I might tell. But you're going to have to get it out of me. Tomorrow night, your place." Gibbs made a face that on anyone else could only have been called a pout.

"Why tomorrow?"

"Because today I'm taking Cleo to the vet."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Tony and McGee arrived at work in a major sulk. McGee's skirt was long and dark, which at least made it less conspicuous, on loan from his sister, Sarah. Tony's was striped and borrowed from Abby because she was the only one he was willing to ask.<p>

"Come on," Tim muttered, "Let's see if Ducky held up his end of the deal." Just then, the doors to the back elevator slid open, revealing a grinning, very _Scottish_ man.

"Good morning Timothy, Anthony!" From the waist up Ducky was wearing one of his ordinary outfits, including a lab coat and plaid bow tie. But instead of a pair of trousers his shirt today was tucked into an authentic Scottish kilt.

"That is _so _cheating," Tony muttered.

* * *

><p>Gibbs knew something was up the minute Jenny walked down his basement stairs.<p>

"Jen... should I even ask why you brought a cat carrier?"

"Well, since I might be spending more time here in the not-so-distant future, I thought I should introduce Cleo to this place. I also brought food, but it's still in my car. Can you watch her?" Gibbs grumbled as Jenny undid the latch and returned to the world of daylight. Suddenly he leaped forward. When Jenny returned, she set the food down and sat on a sawhorse. In the dim light, she didn't realize what Gibbs was doing until he dropped Cleo in her lap.

"Your _animal_ tried using my boat as a scratching post!"

"Aw, Jethro," Jenny smiled, leaning in to kiss him as Cleo jumped from her lap. "I guess you'll just have to make her something she _can _scratch."

"You gonna side with her when she makes that noise all night?" Gibbs asked, referring to the meowing Cleo had just started up.

"Maybe. I haven't decided yet. But don't worry, I'll always think you're the cat's meow."

"Never did get that one," Gibbs started to mutter, but was silenced by Jenny's lips colliding with his.


	6. Yeah, But No, But Yeah Captainjojo

**Title: **Yeah, But No, But Yeah!

**Author: **Captainjojo

**Rating: **K

_A/N: A total crack-fic! DO NOT TAKE SERIOUSLY!_

It was raining so hard that you couldn't see a foot in front of you. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was beginning to regret coming out even if it were to see Director Shepard. His day just couldn't get much worse. The FBI had stolen jurisdiction over HIS case, Ziva was in hospital after being caught in a bomb scare and to top it off there was some strange mangy cat constantly following him like a shadow, even when he was in the loo! The Director wasn't in work today, Cynthia had said that she was ill but later on Jenny's house keeper, Noemi, called to say she was worried, she thought the director was ill and he had jumped at the chance to see her.

It took him a matter of minutes to get there and he was soon knocking on the door. Noemi answered the door with a worried look on her face. Before he knew it he was ushered inside and directed towards Jenny's office. He was about to enter before he thought better of it and knocked twice.

"Noemi, I said I'm fine!"

Jenny sounded harassed like she'd been fighting a long battle and he could have sworn she was sat up against the door.

"Jen, it's me."

He barely had time to blink before the door was whipped open and he was pulled inside with the door quickly closing behind him. He turned around to see Jenny stood there in a black vest top and a floor length boho skirt. He looked her up and down with a quizzical look on his face.

"I'm not explaining the skirt."

Jethro wasn't in a bad mood or trying to annoy Jenny, just curious. So he decided he was going to threaten the answer out of her!

"OK then."

"OK?"

"Yeah OK, if you don't tell me the answer I am going to lock your bourbon cabinet!"

She looked at him with a mixture between confusion, anger and surprise on her face.

"Arrgh, alright, I'll tell you, but you've got to promise not to laugh."

"OK."

"Ikindofmessedup whilsttryingfaketan."

"Slower please?"

"I kind of messed up whilst trying fake tan!"

With that she lifted up the hem of the skirt to reveal her very orange legs!


	7. It's Raining Men MissJayne

**Title: **It's Raining Men

**Author: **MissJayne

**Rating: **K+

Cold.

Wet.

Jennifer Shepard woke with a start, pushing herself away from whatever strange _thing_ was pressing against her nose and reaching for her gun. The purring reached her ears before she could actually threaten her new kitten with the weapon and she sighed, glancing over to read the time.

Ouch. She loved her kitten, she really did, but the poor little thing didn't understand the law about lying in at weekends. Being woken at the same time her alarm was supposed to go off during the week was not amusing.

Suppressing a yawn, she settled back under her covers, mildly amusing that her baby had worked out a routine so quickly. By now, aware her mistress was not going to push her off the bed or get up, she had stretched out nearby and was waiting to be fussed. Jenny rolled her eyes and obeyed.

She wasn't entirely sure why she'd ended up with a kitten. Her ticking biological clock and a desire for a baby – any baby – had played a part, and the kitten played her part perfectly, demanding attention at all hours of the day and night and generally being cute. It was nice to come home to someone after a long day at work and know that although her kitten could get in a huff about her, she tended to have forgotten about it completely five minutes later.

Just to annoy Jethro, she had named her baby 'Diane'. When he had pouted and refused to use the name, demanding something different, she had offered to go through his list of exes. Even when he had reluctantly relented, she continued to tease him with the threat she would get another kitten and name it 'Stephanie' or 'Hollis'.

She quite liked having a nice Diane around the place. Her ginger and white baby cat loved her and loved to sleep on her bed, and followed her around all over the house. She was cute and fluffy and very unlike the Diane she had been named after.

Jenny stretched out, mimicking her cat, and continued to fuss her stomach, wondering if she could curl back into a ball and sleep a few more hours. Unlikely. She was far too awake now and her baby would only demand more attention if left alone.

A faint knocking reached her ears. She paused, Diane mewling softly to inform her she wasn't happy about this sudden lack of attention. The knocking came again. Definitely her front door.

But who could it be at zero five hundred on a Saturday? Her friends had keys. No one else would bother to be up this early, or bother to visit her. No tradesmen would be around at this hour. Hoping it was someone at the wrong door, she forced herself out of her warm bed and padded downstairs, Diane obediently following.

She flung open the front door, almost taking a reflexive step back at the rain pouring down from the sky. Someone was insane enough to be out in _this_? Her porch was empty, but though she could barely see to the street, she knew who had been knocking.

"Jethro!" she yelled into the rain, not surprised when the man reappeared a few moments later, evidently on his way back to his car by the time she had made it to the door. He stepped into her house, dripping all over her nice, clean carpet. She sighed, deciding to kill him later.

He kissed her lips in greeting and she responded for a moment, before pulling away. "You're freezing," she observed calmly. "What on earth possessed you to stand out there and knock?"

"Thought you might be asleep," he mumbled against her lips. "Didn't want to disturb you."

She smirked, pressing her lips against her lover's for a second. "Diane woke me up."

He moved his head enough to observe the cat, who was happily staring at them both. "She hates me," he muttered.

She arched an eyebrow. "Which one?"

"Both."

"She's not that bad."

He stared at her. "Which one?"

"The cat."

"She," he pointed, "is evil incarnate."

"No she's not."

"Easy for you to say; she didn't mistake _you_ for a climbing frame the last time we –"

She cut him off with a kiss to his lips, changing the subject before her face turned as red as her hair. "Dare I ask why you're here? I thought you were busy with your case and we were spending the weekend apart."

He shrugged. "Yeah, about that... We closed the case last night and I wanted to let you sleep."

She nodded. "Doesn't explain why you came out in this weather."

He looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. "I wanted to see you."

She mock-glared at him.

"Apparently DiNozzo celebrated the end of the case a little too hard." At her raised eyebrow he continued. "He showed up at my house a half hour ago. Singing at the top of his lungs. Wearing a _skirt_. And black lipstick. I think Ziva and Abby might have had a little to drink too."

She giggled, knowing her friends would have taken a photo before turning DiNozzo loose on Jethro's doorstep and it would probably have been sent to her phone by now. "Well, what am I going to do with you?" she teased.

Jethro smirked, kissing her lips again. "Sure I can suggest a few things."

Jenny brushed a hand along his cheek, breaking the kiss again. "You need to get out of these wet clothes first," she suggested.

He glanced behind her at Diane, who was happily continuing to watch the two of them. "Nah," he replied, taking her by the hand and dragging her through the house until they were at her back door.

"Jethro," she protested, realising what he was about to do.

He ignored her, dragging her out into the rain. She squealed in shock as the cold water hit her, then began to giggle as he kissed her again. He drew back enough to point at the house, where Diane sat reluctantly in the doorway, unwilling to brave the rain.

"Peace at last," he promised, before he kissed her and she lost all rational thought.

_A/N: I can assure you my cat does every one of these things, except she's terrified of strangers. At least she's finally grown out of howling in my face at 3am..._


	8. I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Cat fredesrojo

_A thousand apologies to fredesrojo - I left this in the wrong folder. I owe you a sneak-peak of something._

**Title**: I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat

_In which Leroy Jethro Gibbs learns the value of locking one's door when one has secret pets to hide._

**Author: **fredesrojo

**Rating: **T(

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine**.**

_**Virtual cookies to those who can name both the cartoon character referenced in the title and the other cartoon referenced later in the fic. Enjoy!**_

Jenny Shepard grinned at the sight in front of her.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was going to be her bitch for the foreseeable future. His reputation as a bad-ass, growly, grumpy Marine was going to be bashed to bits.

She bit her lip to keep herself from squealing aloud at the cuteness.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had a cat. A cute, cuddly, purring cat that was currently lying snuggled up in the snoring Marine's arms while he slumbered away under his boat.

Green eyes danced in wicked amusement as she crouched next to the boat, her phone out at the ready.

"Oh Jethro…"

* * *

><p>Leroy Jethro Gibbs was in serious trouble. Reputation smashing, cataclysm causing trouble.<p>

It all started when he woke in the basement to the sound of a camera shutter clicking with his cat lying in his arms, looking all fluffy and cute and adorable and _not_ like Gibbs.

One grinning, evil-eyed redheaded ex-lover-turned-sort-of-girlfriend stood over him, Blackberry clutched firmly in hand.

He swallowed. "Jen… I can explain…"

"You have a cat."

He sighed. "Yes."

Jenny's grin grew. "I have a picture of said cat cuddled in your arms on my Blackberry."

_Gulp._

"Jen…"

"Who should I send this to?" One manicured finger moved slowly, scrolling the little track-ball thingy as her green eyes lit up further with each respective name announced. "Let's see… Ducky."

_Wince._

"Abby."

_Wince._

"DiNozzo, McGee, Ziva."

_Gulp._ "Uh…Jen?"

"Oooooooh, what about Deputy Director Morrow?"

"Jen…Jenny, _please_."

"No, no, wait. _Burley_."

"_Jenny."_

She paused, focusing her gaze on the pale man sitting halfway up against the boat, her evil grin still stretched wide. "Yes, Jethro?"

"You don't have to send that," He stood shakily, hefting the cat aside onto one of the ribs of the boat, his voice pleading. "Really."

"Oh, but I think I _do_." Her thumb hovered over the button.

"I—I'll buy you coffee! For a week!" Jethro lurched forward desperately, lunging for the phone.

Jenny clicked her tongue disapprovingly, stepping back to put the phone just out of reach. "Jethro, Jethro…I'm going to need a little more than that," She made a show of scrolling through her contacts again, "Oh, what about Tobias?" She grinned wickedly. "I bet Emily would think this is absolutely _adorable_. Speaking of… I think I might even have _Diane's_ number in here…"

He blanched. "Two weeks of coffee! I'll drive you to and from NCIS!"

"Hmm…it sounds so tempting, but…"

"I—I'll…" Jethro paused, swallowing harshly, "I'll knock on your door if I'm going to your office."

Her gaze sharpened. "All of that, and you have to compliment me in view of the entire bullpen. And not your backhand compliments either. 'Your dress looks nice, Director Shepard.' Something a _proper gentleman_ would compliment a lady on."

With a heavy sigh Gibbs nodded, sticking his hand out firmly to shake.

Two hands met, and a pact was formed.

* * *

><p>Gibbs was acting weird. More than his usual 'I-have-some-crazy-mutant-sense-that-tells-me-when-hinky-stuff-is-happening' weird.<p>

Abby Scuito scowled at Bert, sitting with her chin resting on her hands. "This isn't normal, Bert. Gibbs is, like, bowing down to the Director's every order. And even though it's totally cute to see Daddy walk Mommy up to her office every morning and bring her coffee, it's just not Gibbs-like!"

The hippo stared blankly back, glossy black eyes reflecting the Goth's worried visage back at her.

"Well I _know_ we've totally been trying to get Mommy and Daddy back together, but it doesn't count if _el jefe_ is acting like the butler to the Director! They work together as a couple 'cause he argues with her and she sneaks around running his team and steals his coffee a—" She paused mid-rant, spinning around to glare at the intruder to her lab, hands on her hips.

"Timmy! It's not nice to sneak up on me when I'm in the middle of a rant!" The Goth reached out and punched him in the shoulder, pouting. "I told you to stop sparring with Ziva. You're picking up her ninja skills and you can't pick up her ninja skills 'cause then you won't be my totally adorable but kind of clumsy Timmy and…"

McGee ignored her, standing there as if shell-shocked. "Gibbs complimented Director Shepard."

"…And I can't handle it if there's _three_ ninjas on the team, 'cause Gibbs has his Super-Secret-Secret-Sniper-skills and Ziva's already got the ninja-assassin-all-around-badass market corner—wait, _what?"_

"Boss complimented Director Shepard. In the bullpen. With everyone looking."

"No way! I _missed it?"_ Abby gaped for a few seconds. "_TIMMY, _why didn't you _call_ me?"

McGee froze. "I—I…it all happened so fast, and then Tony just about passed out and Ziva had to run and get him a glass of water and I think Agent Bourne from Legal _did_ pass out… by the time I thought to call you, Director Shepard was up in MTAC and Gibbs went for coffee." He thought for a moment, brightening as an idea struck. "Hang on; the bullpen cameras are still active! Maybe it's on tape!"

"Brilliant, McGee!" She swept in to kiss his cheek before spinning to her keyboard, fingers flying over the keys. "Okay, so this happened in the last fifteen minutes so if we scroll back here… Agent Bourne fainting…Ziva running for water… Tony almost fainting… a little further… ah, there. Director Shepard exiting the elevator," She cued up the feed on the big screen, grabbing a bowl of Skittles and her Caf!Pow as she sank down in the chair. "Timmy, turn the volume up."

On screen, Director Jenny Shepard exited the elevator to the bullpen with Agents Lee and Bourne from Legal, chatting politely with the two women. Gibbs stood over Tony's desk, more than likely terrifying the senior agent out of doing something incredibly stupid.

"_Agent Gibbs." _Jenny stopped at the entrance to the bullpen, leaning on the partition next to Ziva's desk.

Gibbs almost seemed to flinch, his shoulders hunching. _"Director."_

"_I asked Cynthia to send along those files for the Bueller case from the FBI. Did she have a chance to drop them off yet?"_

"_Yes, she did."_

"_And did you thank her?"_

Gibbs swallowed, his face twisting as if the very thought of thanking Cynthia pained him. _"Yes, Director."_

"_Good." _ Jenny smiled a little…well, evilly—at least for a Director. She stood back to her full height, starting the walk towards the stairs again. Halfway to the landing, she paused again. _"Oh, and Agent Gibbs?"_

Yet another almost flinch from the Special Agent. _"Yes, Director?"_

"_About that… __**issue**__ we discussed earlier?"_ Jenny smiled sweetly, raising her Blackberry. _"That Technology in Investigations Seminar I asked you to attend?"_

"_I left the paperwork with Cynthia, ma'am."_ Gibbs took a deep breath, his face twisting in near-pain again. _"You look very nice today, Director. Is that a new skirt?"_

Jenny's sweet smile turned positively evil. "_Why yes it is, Agent Gibbs. Thank you for the compliment."_

He forced a polite smile, a tic in his eye pulsing. _"You're welcome, Director Shepard. We're all very… honored to have you here."_

"_Oh, that's such a nice compliment! I'm very glad to be working here with all of you. This Agency has been wonderful to me." _Jenny flashed one more sickeningly sweet smile. "_Well, I'm afraid I have an operation in MTAC. Agent Gibbs, I'll expect your notes on the Bueller case by the end of today in my office."_

"_Yes, ma'am."_

With that, McGee stopped the feed. "And then the Director went up to MTAC and Gibbs disappeared." He paused, scratching his head. "I'm pretty sure Tony started hyperventilating when the Director asked Gibbs if he _thanked_ Cynthia."

"Not that that wasn't totally adorable in a weird alternate universe kinda way and all… but what is _el jefe_ doing complimenting the Director in the middle of the bullpen?"

"I dunno, but it's starting to creep me out. Have you seen Gibbs walk her up to her office every morning? And he's usually there waiting when she leaves," McGee paused for dramatic effect before throwing in his final clue. "_And_, he brings her coffee every time he goes out to get it."

"I know! And he did all of his back paperwork and took it up to her office when you guys were out following leads yesterday!"

He nodded. "This is…"

"Weird."

* * *

><p>Gibbs swept into the outer office, stopping dead in front of Cynthia's desk. He waited silently for the ever-busy assistant to look up, his face impassive.<p>

Finally, Cynthia startled and looked up. "Yes, Agent Gibbs?"

"Is she in?"

"Yes. Reviewing paperwork." She reached out for the intercom. "Shall I tell her you're here?"

A tic in his forehead pulsed as he nodded slowly.

Cynthia grabbed the phone, quickly announcing that Agent Gibbs was here. "She'll see you now." Brown eyes watched as he balanced two coffee cups carefully as he knocked on the door, waiting for a calm 'Come in' before he entered.

Jenny looked up from her paperwork, smirking once she confirmed it was him. "Jethro. To what do I owe the honor?"

Gibbs forcibly restrained his customary snarky response, tasting blood from where he had managed to bite the tip of his tongue. "Coffee. And the notes on the Bueller case from yesterday, like you requested."

"Excellent." She gestured vaguely at her desk. "Just set it somewhere."

He complied silently, standing in front of her desk until she looked up again.

"Something you wanted, Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs flinched slightly. "Was just wondering when you were planning on going home, Director."

Jenny smirked as she glanced at her watch, affecting a look of mock surprise. "Oh, is it really that late? Goodness, I must have let the time get away from me." She grinned dangerously. "Just let me finish this file and then we can go."

A muscle jumped in his jaw. "Certainly, Director."

Five minutes later, Jenny stood ready by the door, her bags gripped in Jethro's hand. "All ready, Agent Gibbs."

He nodded shortly, holding the door open for her. "Director."

Jenny bit back another smirk as they descended to the bullpen, her attention captured by something just beyond the windows. With another secret grin she slowed to a stop near his team's desks. "Oh, Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs stopped dead halfway to the elevator, his shoulders slumping. "Yes, Director?"

"It's raining. You wouldn't happen to have an umbrella, would you?" She gestured carelessly at her suit. "This is new, and I'd hate to get it all wet. The dry cleaning bill would be exorbitant."

One elevator ride later, Jenny bit back another evil smile as she walked through the parking lot safely ensconced under an umbrella while Jethro carried on rather miserably out in the pouring rain.

Blackmail was _fun_.

* * *

><p>Leroy Jethro Gibbs was miserable. His clothes were soaked through, his shoes were squelching uncomfortably every time he took a step, and he was only a week into this <em>deal<em> with his absolutely _evil_ girlfriend-lover-whatever Jen wanted to call herself.

He hadn't been touched or been able to touch her in nine days. _Nine days_.

All because of a stupid picture of a stupid cat he'd grudgingly adopted years ago when the poor pitiful thing was left out in a snowstorm in front of his house.

A shrill ring interrupted his thoughts, drawing his attention to the nightstand by Jenny's bed. Her Blackberry buzzed across the surface like a thing possessed, flashing and ringing loudly.

He reached over and swiped the offending object up in one hand, making his way over to the doorway of the master bathroom, where Jenny was taking a shower _without_ him. "Uh, Jen?"

"Hm?" Her voice rose over the rush of falling water.

"Your Blueberry thing is ringing."

"Blackberry, Jethro." Jenny sighed. "I'm in the middle of shaving… would you tell whoever's calling that I'll call them right back?"

With a heavy sigh, Gibbs flipped the object over in his hands, squinting until he found the proper button to connect the call. "Jennifer Shepard's phone."

After a short conversation with the caller he ended the call and sank down on the edge of her bed, turning the phone over and over in his hands.

She had taken the incriminating picture on this thing, right?

Gibbs' eyes lit up as an idea struck. There on the screen, right next to a little envelope icon was a tiny camera icon. If he could just search through and find the picture… Jenny's blackmail reign was _over_.

With a few tentative clicks and some shaky scrolling of the track-ball-thingy, he was in. Silver eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he scrolled through the meager few pictures the memory card contained.

Slowly, a smirk started across his face, morphing into an utterly terrifying grin.

She was _dead_.

* * *

><p>Jenny Shepard gave her lover an odd look as she emerged from the bathroom. She couldn't fathom why Jethro was grinning like that.<p>

"Did you hit your head or something, Jethro?"

Blue eyes flashed merrily in amusement, and then he _laughed_… an actual, real, and altogether too evil sounding laugh, which was not like Jethro at all.

She eyed him warily. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Jethro continued grinning, holding one hand up teasingly. There, grasped in his big palm, was her phone.

"Yes, that's my phone. What about it?"

"That picture."

"What?"

"The picture you claimed you took and threatened to send to _my_ team."

Jenny froze, the puzzle pieces falling into place. Her carefully constructed plan was falling down around her ears. "Jethro…I can explain…"

He continued grinning as he scrolled carefully through the pictures on the phone. "What d'you think Morrow would think of _this_ picture of you and your big 'ol teddy bear?"

She swallowed harshly, her face ashen. She _told_ Ziva to delete that photo! "I—you…"

Jethro furrowed his eyebrows in a mock frown. "Nah, Morrow would be too easy. What about Ducky?"

"Jethro…"

"Ooooh, no, how about Condi?"

She paled further.

"No, no, wait. _Leon_."

She could feel the control slipping through her fingers, held in the hands of a supposedly technophobic Marine. Time to bluff. "You couldn't send that out if you wanted to."

Jethro's grin grew even more dangerous. "You remember that Technology Seminar you made me attend today?"

Jenny gulped.

"They spent an entire hour on Blackberries and PDA's." He waggled the blunt fingers of one hand. "I'm no McGee, but I can use a phone now."

"Never should have sent you to that damn thing."

Jethro chuckled. "Now, where was I? Let's see… Oooh, what would SecNav think?"

Jenny flinched. "Jethro…I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement."

His eyes twinkled. "I bet Burley would get a kick outta this."

"Jethro, baby, _please_."

"Hmm… no, I should just send it to Cynthia, shouldn't I?"

Desperately, she threw in the only bargaining piece she had left. "You can forget about the deal!"

"Oh, but _Director_… I just can't forget about that deal." Jethro pinned her with a hard stare. "You made me compliment you in front of the entire bullpen, Jen."

She swallowed. "Coffee. For three weeks."

"That's a start."

"Four weeks?"

Jethro smirked. "Four weeks of coffee and you stop this withholding nonsense. You stay outta my cases, and I want you to stop the FBI and the CIA from tryin' to take 'em." He paused, thinking. "And a bottle of bourbon. The good stuff, not that rotgut you can get at the grocery store."

"Is that all?"

"For now."

* * *

><p>Timothy McGee was having a good Monday. He'd spent the weekend pounding out another seven chapters for his next novel so his publisher was finally off his back, and had time to play through God of War II four times without cheat codes. The Boss was nowhere to be seen, he had beaten Tony in to work, and Ziva had just dropped a cup of his favorite coffee by his desk on her way in. With a happy sigh, he leaned back in his chair with his hands laced behind his head. "It's gonna be a good day."<p>

"Ya think, MaGee?"

Speaking of…Tim jumped in his seat, hurriedly sitting forward, hands scrabbling across his desk in an attempt to make it look like he was doing something. "U—Uh, y—yes, Boss."

Gibbs eyed him for a long moment, the corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "Hm. You're right, McGee. It is a good day."

* * *

><p>Abby Scuito absentmindedly paused her music as she reached out for her ringing phone. "Hello?"<p>

"_Abby, it's me."_ Tim's voice was low and urgent, hissing through the phone line in a static whisper.

"Timmy? Why are you whispering?"

"_It's happening again_."

"What?" She frowned. "McGee, you're not making any sense. What's going on, Tim?"

"_The Director brought Gibbs coffee and she fought off Agent Fornell for us."_

"Damn it, not _again_…"

* * *

><p><em>**Virtual cookies if you guessed right: Tweety Bird for the title and a SuperSecret Secret Squirrel reference during Abby's rant.**<em>


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